No Sorry

A long-lost friend shouted over loud music and very good vodka, “Would you like a pill?!”

“No thanks. I’m good.”

“What happened to you??”

Hmmmm…. What happened to me? I got older, I got burnt. I saw a few people crash and lose their marbles from taking lotsa drugs and I got really scared. Most of all, I realised that all that intensified feeling while you’re on e, although fun, doesn’t make real relationships, and in essence, isn’t real.

If I had to pick one, it would be the fear of losing my mind.

“Where you been clubbing lately?” he continues.

“Errrrrr, I don’t really go out much. I take day trips with good friends. I go to palate… Ummm, what else do I do? I read… and write… I live a really calm life now.” He tilted his head and looked at me like I had blue fur on my face.

The whole encounter left a bad taste in my mouth. They are people cheeckbones and I used to hang out with. Seeing them just reminded me of that life I had with him. The mad sex, drugs and rock&roll life.

I drove around the corner to Palate. Among good friends I concluded: I’m not sorry. My life may seem boring by many standards and I really am not sorry!